The latest from the industrial grade rumor mill is that in a desperate effort to attract a sizable audience and avoid another catastrophic financial nightmare, the International Olympic Committee is securing the services of former NBA defensive guru Dennis Rodman to boost ratings and offer the olive branch of peace to Kim Jong-un and North […]
If You Snooze, You Lose!
A friendly fisherman, who was doing his best impression of a benevolent naturalist, quickly learned the valuable lesson that Mother Nature has a cruel sense of humor. The first mistake the jolly angler made was in coaxing a pelican towards his table with scraps as he was cleaning his catch. The second and fatal miscalculation, […]
50 Shades Of Grey- Alaska Airlines Bans Passenger For Prompting Service
As the witch trials of sexual harassment allegations are spreading between the coasts like a wildfire of ultraviolet lemmings threatening to swarm the very basis of social mores, the concept of decency now resides within the frictionless field of a rogue superconductor, as the boundaries and definition seem to change with a case by case […]
A Cure For Baldness? If You Don’t Mind Being Mickey Mouse
Imagine a world teeming with people on the sidewalks of major cities rocking long flowing and vibrant hairstyles tossing and teasing scandalously with the breeze as the baldness gene has effectively been eliminated. It’s easy if you try. Without inciting disturbing nostalgic visions of a certain musical which shocked audiences at the height of the […]
The Golden State Gets Creatively Punk’d
Apparently, profiling the majority of California’s population outside of the crazed confines of politics, as progressive, poli-gendered, and antifa narcissists with a propensity for serial veganism, does not quite equate to a reasonable or healthy perspective. We will just agree to blame the impending subtle transformation of the entire southern half of the state into […]
An NFL Player Who Defends Values?
NFL “sophomore” Carson Wentz has managed to avoided the doldrums of a slump by literally taking the Philadelphia Eagles nation and the entire NFL by storm this year with his brilliant play on and off the field. Not to be confused with the frenzied blast of arctic air as the entire Northeast weathers treacherous conditions […]
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