While fear and hysteria resounds amongst senior citizens that the CAT scan they are receiving could be hacked, MIT researchers have upped the ante, as micro-stickers may replace the beastly and bulky medical imaging units supporting contemporary medicine. Why not deal with one room sized unit, when a sole x-ray technician can affix a series […]
Birds Of A Feather- Seattle Audubon Society Latest To Drop Name
Decimated by fabricated malaise sparked by widespread trepidation, the English language continues to take a thrashing administered by an eclectic posse consisting of agitated neighborhood association members, sanctimonious Starbucks baristas unionizing, and a galactic supercomputer powered by the egos of historical tyrants. While historical statues in the US and the UK are being toppled by […]
Shooting To Suppress- NBA Coach Attempts To Swat The Constitution
As a diminutive sharpshooter, with size being congruent to prodigious deities of the professional basketball, Steve Kerr made his fortune rivaling a mosquito like pest tantalizing fans with ICBM missiles burning the net from long range, while annoying rival followers with a frantic persistence. Existing in a supplementary role in the grand shadow cast by […]
Indoctrination By Misrepresentation- The Stubborn Legacy And Longevity Of Sports Message Boards
Recently, a group of baseball fans on a fervent Major League Baseball comment board, presumably anonymous with usernames such as “translamfnljujment78” and “61tatorhater”, or most likely in search of increased serotonin levels, summoned another effort to orchestrate derogatory groupthink. At least those who are aware of the ominous forces at work. The process is a […]
Replicating Grit- The Edgy Subculture Of Cloning
The Volga waltz choreographed by Dolly, the loveable sheep earning the historical distinction of the first mammal to be cloned, pairs the Dancing With the Stars duo of Justin Smollett and Amber Heard orbiting the stage through a fluttery fugue of octaves and dramatic pauses. While credibility is scarce on the duality of one transfixing […]
Too Little, Too Late- CNN To Drop Polarizing Graphics
Before the indelible Ted Turner sold his gargantuan news organization to Time Warner, CNN absorbed many of the tycoon’s insufferable traits. These include the planet-sized ego, and an incredulous tendency for breeding a cumbersome model of fake news. Also, on the insidious menu of Turner’s idiosyncrasies is the pestering practice to overuse character graphics in […]
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