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Birds Of A Feather- Seattle Audubon Society Latest To Drop Name

July 27, 2022 By Kennedy Guse

Decimated by fabricated malaise sparked by widespread trepidation, the English language continues to take a thrashing administered by an eclectic posse consisting of agitated neighborhood association members, sanctimonious Starbucks baristas unionizing, and a galactic supercomputer powered by the egos of historical tyrants. While historical statues in the US and the UK are being toppled by […]

Filed Under: Life, News Feed, Politics

Shooting To Suppress- NBA Coach Attempts To Swat The Constitution

June 30, 2022 By Conn Williamson

As a diminutive sharpshooter, with size being congruent to prodigious deities of the professional basketball, Steve Kerr made his fortune rivaling a mosquito like pest tantalizing fans with ICBM missiles burning the net from long range, while annoying rival followers with a frantic persistence. Existing in a supplementary role in the grand shadow cast by […]

Filed Under: 2nd Amendment, Life, News Feed, Politics

Indoctrination By Misrepresentation- The Stubborn Legacy And Longevity Of Sports Message Boards

June 24, 2022 By Conn Williamson

Recently, a group of baseball fans on a fervent Major League Baseball comment board, presumably anonymous with usernames such as “translamfnljujment78” and “61tatorhater”, or most likely in search of increased serotonin levels, summoned another effort to orchestrate derogatory groupthink. At least those who are aware of the ominous forces at work. The process is a […]

Filed Under: Life, News Feed, Politics, Tech

Replicating Grit- The Edgy Subculture Of Cloning

June 19, 2022 By Kennedy Guse

The Volga waltz choreographed by Dolly, the loveable sheep earning the historical distinction of the first mammal to be cloned, pairs the Dancing With the Stars duo of Justin Smollett and Amber Heard orbiting the stage through a fluttery fugue of octaves and dramatic pauses. While credibility is scarce on the duality of one transfixing […]

Filed Under: Life, News Feed, Politics

Too Little, Too Late- CNN To Drop Polarizing Graphics

June 7, 2022 By Conn Williamson

Before the indelible Ted Turner sold his gargantuan news organization to Time Warner, CNN absorbed many of the tycoon’s insufferable traits. These include the planet-sized ego, and an incredulous tendency for breeding a cumbersome model of fake news. Also, on the insidious menu of Turner’s idiosyncrasies is the pestering practice to overuse character graphics in […]

Filed Under: Life, Money, Politics

Criminals Adapt To Gadgetry- The Nightmarish Conundrum Of Modern Tech

June 5, 2022 By Kennedy Guse

After finishing an uneventful shipping trip at a local grocery store, a Kirkland, Washington woman on the way home was prompted by her smartphone alerting her that an Apple Airtag device was traveling along for the ride in the vehicle. Except that she did not own the latest generation of a tracking gadget produced by […]

Filed Under: Life, News Feed, Politics, Tech

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