It began with “The Intern”, as certain discerning patrons of a local bakery interpreted the culinary delight as a back-handed slam towards Monika Lewinsky, who attended nearby Lewis and Clark University, and promptly ended with “The President”, a confection celebrating the current administration, and in the process prompting a campaign of negative reviews on-line, including a salvo of allegations of racism directed at the owner. No, “The Intern” did not contain a cream filling or echo a cigar shape.
In the latest trend of societal and political discourse, the traditionally docile world of boutique cupcake shops has been transformed into the new medium for charged dialogue and stirring innuendo. The simple concept of tasty and bold has been degraded to biased and senseless. Betty Crocker and Little Debbie may never overcome the daunting connotations and indoctrinating articles set forth by politicized bullies.
Fat Cupcake owner Anjelica Hayes, who is of African-American descent, was a recent victim of the PC movement as her tribute to Obama menu-item began to draw negative interest in the digital hemisphere and by word of mouth. According to Oregon Live, Hayes discovered that Oreo cookies were Mr. Obama’s favorite guilty pleasure and subsequently created “The President” dessert in the style of Nabisco’s brilliant cookie. Amid the caustic fallout with selected customers and brattish rants, Hayes chose to rename the cupcake “The Professional” and quell the tiny revolution threatening the substance of her small business. (Also included on the Fat Cupcake menu is the “Hot Mess” which is a scandalous composition of cream cheese, sausage, and eggs, butter pastry and topped with hollandaise sauce. A local group of feminists is currently working with the ACLU on filing a lawsuit based on the biased name and obvious damaging principles of the breakfast dish towards women.)
Hayes’s unique situation exemplifies the flawed nuances of hypersensitivity and the downward spiral facilitated by ceaseless criticism and attempted deduction in creating something from nothing. Chefs must now be cogent and aware of the potential detrimental consequences fueled by a misinterpretation of a simple menu label in blue areas such as Portland and Seattle, where the disruptive antics of Marxists and the insane clown politics of mentally challenged food critics pervade. Of course, the inception of a red cinnamon roll treat with an extremely rich tasting interior appropriately named “The Investor” would simply elicit a polite chuckle and a barrage of positive reviews. A small minority strives to “keep Portland weird”.
Read the full Oregon Live article here.