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Cranky Liberal Democrats Talk Succession

November 11, 2016 By Conn Williamson

washington

 

While the calls on the crises phone line in King County, Washington exponentially increased in the waning moments of election coverage Tuesday night after the realization that Trump would be sworn in as the next POTUS resonated in the collective minds of progressives, two realities became apparent.

In one of the two predominant epicenters of technical innovation in the United States, how or why is a telephone landline still the base means of communication in resolving escalating situations and what zany course of action in the wake of defeat would Seattle liberals enact to fulfill their promise that they would leave the country if Mr. Trump was elected?  As a team of technocrats is currently working to furiously code an App for the King County Department of Mental Health, local Hillary supporters have proposed the unbelievable, but when weighing the belligerent personality profiles and tendencies towards lunacy, completely understandable.  Utilizing a plan drawn from the feverish and boundless energy of Manifest Destiny and the acquisition of huge tracks of land by the US government, progressives in Washington have started the gears turning in the proposed succession of Washington, Oregon, and California from the union in formulating a fledgling and independent nation.

The new political and economic entity appropriately named “Caloreshington” would align citizens of similar political values in a geo-proximal territory.  All three states overwhelmingly supported the Clinton camp and the elections of numerous democratic candidates.  There have been inclinations that annex of British Columbia may be possibility.   The West Coast of course, has always been synonymous with the new wave or new age standard of living.

If the weird and wild dreams of a few become reality, Caloreshington would have the world’s 5th largest economy at a GDP of nearly $3 billion USD, possess the software technological cradle of the world with Silicon Valley and the greater Seattle area, and have a population of almost 51 million.  With a military presence featuring JBLM,  Bangor and Fairchild instillations in Washington and Naval Base San Diego and Edwards in California, the addition of the capability of manufacturing nukes from Hanford, would validate a legitimate and capable armed forces.

The only disappointing caveat to this missive is that with all the wealth of writing and creative talent on the progressive side, why could they think of a better name?  Something like as “Pleiades”, with a nice earthy ring to it.  Speaking of rings, the phone at the King County crises line are still accommodating a record number of calls that should be reserved for legitimate emergencies.

Read the Seattle Times story here.


 

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