Scene One (amid the tables at the bustling tasting room of the local wine shop)- Cue the token stuffy board member for the arts on pontificating on the eve of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. “My grandson’s best friend’s sister’s convicted felon voice instructor was raving about some sports “tournament”. Is this something new? What a waste of time.”
In real life the above scenario actually takes place at a surprising frequency with a vomit-inducing layer of forced plausible deniability rivaling the dense fence of detractors surrounding the Monica Lewinsky camp. A memorable instance withstands the test of time in the actions of a prominent newsroom figure grumbling in response to peer pressure in filling out a bracket and failing to validate the existence of the popular event by simply uttering, “Nevermore.”
“March Madness” is here and the official trademark phrase covering the full spectrum of descriptions for the 68 team tournament, ranging from the heart-stopping end of game heroics to the crazy amount of hours spent on picking teams and wagering money and pride against family, friends, office mates and strangers. Certain employers on the first Thursday and Friday of the tournament surrender to the mass hysteria and actually plan for a lull in workplace efficiency as history has shown that full buffet of basketball offered around the clock is losing battle in the world of commerce. Fox Business News reports that the estimated total loss of productivity through out the tournament could reach the $4 billion dollar threshold. This number stems from 40 million people filling out 70 million brackets.
While lottery-like odds exist in picking the perfect field and research has shown that the most knowledgeable of sports fans using trendy picks have similar odds in winning to a child selecting teams based on favorite animals and mascots, the average workplace cost of $29 to join a betting pool is worth the money spent. One notable omission from the legions of NCAA fanatics is President Trump, who decided to sit this year’s experiment in bracketology out to allegedly focus on formulating geopolitical match-ups pitting the evils of dictatorship and oligarchy in elimination slots against various intelligence agencies.
One warning to tournament directors and administrators, beware of the prevalence of Cartel members in using the unregulated infrastructure of mainly unreported expenditures and winnings to assist in large scale money laundering efforts. As the DEA has identified and staunched the flow of the cleaning of currency on mainstream channels, the narco community has been forced to search for creative and viable methods to translate drug sales into cash and investments. Is is reported that state lotteries have already been infiltrated by drug money (thank you author Tim Dorsey), and sports gambling is the next big theater for international intrigue and the prevalence of criminal ventures. The obvious red flags when identifying shady elements, include hyphenated Latin names and the submission by one person of hundreds of entries featuring Winthrop, Northern Kentucky and NC Central as tournament winners.
Read the Fox Business News story here.