As the digital and network execs straighten out the kinks surrounding a Jenner magnitude drama of sexual identity politics and the assurance of a culturally relevant plot for a multi-million dollar blockbuster series, both man and beast await their fates (at least the man does) in the stoic shadows of the lukewarm swamp. And the act of redefining an existence as a gold medal winning triathlete, in transforming from a blundering juvenile emotional midget into a world champion, has officially infiltrated the definition of culture, with special thanks to special interests groups and associate professors of Will and Grace studies within the zany liberal arts matrix grooming future graduates for the doldrums being chronically unemployed.
Job shaming aside, a Florida man ascended to the global stage of Netflix and Hollywood, by capturing the heart and mind of a burgeoning famous female python in the wilderness of the Sunshine state. The 17-foot-long Burmese species gave the man all he could handle, in the form of a tiring life and death twilight dance before succumbing to a single bullet, reports Fox News. In officially bringing the invasive critter species into captivity, the hunter, who was moments away from becoming the hunted, officially inked his name into the record books, and took home a nice chunk of change for his efforts.
The love tragedy possesses the three key components of hit, fame, passion, and a motive.
According to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission website, snake contractors can earn an hourly wage in scouring swamps and forests searching for the elusive Burmese species. Capturing a specimen is where the big money is, as the overall payday is determined by the length of the creature. The dinner and dancing date with the “mammoth”, should net the bounty hunter $325. Not a bad for an evening in discovering a brief, yet memorable love. The conservation program has eliminated nearly 2,000 snakes since its inception.
With tax payer dollars being spent to mitigate real environmental damages bestowed upon the environment by overzealous individuals, perhaps the wildlife commission should arrange a mass natural hunt of offending and irresponsible pet owners. Simply round up all the people who unceremoniously evict their tarantula, scorpion, ox, dragon lizard, badger, electric eel, or bear, and let them loose in the wild and see how long they can survive. Irony can be cruel.
Read the Fox News story here.
