How Exactly Did The Grinch Steal Christmas?
There were numerous unconfirmed reports along Pennsylvania Avenue of the politically correct Grinch eliciting bizarre behavior and muttering about “uneducated white males” and “Russian Hackers” before disappearing from the area completely.
The beast was last officially scene sauntering across the White House Lawn hurling copies of The Fountainhead at ornamentals, resident birds and chipmunks, leading to an altercation with secret service agents and removal from the property.
In possible related news and clues to the Grinch’s present whereabouts, a school district in Texas supported the decision of a principal to banish artwork and depictions of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” from the side of a school building. Fox News notes that the principal was allegedly influenced when making the reckless call to action by political correctness, and a certain fictional anti-Christmas character who is currently on the loose.
In all seriousness, a judge slapped a temporary restraining order on the school district and decreed that the school welcome back Charlie Brown and friends, and the inspiring message of Christmas spirit.
LAST SEEN: Multiple incidents of unchecked indoctrination and salvos of liberal guilt on the outskirts the capital city of El Salvador, indicate the politically correct Grinch may be attempting to redefine behavior patterns and manage micro-aggressions within the fringe business arms of the Cartel.
Read the Fox News story here.