The flash mob was as coordinated as an Edo period Ninja assault on the quarters of the Shogun. Armed with smartphones, some carrying crowbars and others donning jumbo backpacks, the cadre of economic rioters rapidly emerged from the shroud of night in a flanking maneuver that Sun-Tzu and Africanus would have envied as the assault […]
Communist News Network Garners Numerous Awards
With the broadcast legacy of Ted Turner intertwined with the putrid ideology of “Hanoi” Jane, the Chinese News Network (CNN) is currently facing an identity crises, as the coalescence between soccer moms and the hipster suburban dog nannies sends shockwaves across the domain of online surveys. While the ratings hurl themselves off the antenna array […]
Pedaling Mobility- A Glamping Trip Powered By The Heart
At one point in history, YouTube was the unrivaled mecca for self-expression, the modern iteration of hundreds of hours of Charades on the playground condensed into the ultimate user experience. But things have certainly changed within the 15-second attention span of the trending, as the streaming social media site is as ancient as the fax […]
Fraud Or Job? The Big Tech Hiring And Immigration Scandal
Prevalent among West coast city future shock culture, self-driving vehicles operated by HB-1 visa workers and plastered with multiple stickers announcing “New Driver- Please Be Patient”, threaten to overwhelm the burgeoning homeless encampments of stinking bums and hardcore drug users living in hovels constructed on sidewalks and public school athletic fields where students have to […]
The Changing Media Landscape- Almost A “Carlson Effect”
Tucker Carlson has joined the exclusive fraternity of media personalities terminated from the spotlight over corporate financial considerations and the adherence to ratings. In unrelated news, polarizing CNN figurehead Don Lemon was also recently sentenced to Moldavian reeducation forced labor camp, the proliferation of “dark” money flowing like a fetid tributary of raw sewage flowing […]
The NBA Is “Fan”tatstic- Except For Gun Owners
As the comfortable and worn adage illustrates professional basketball’s aversion to defense, the actors orchestrating a ballet of dunks and three pointers through the cumbersome hierarchy of players, coaches, and the front office are also oblivious to the concept of reasonable self-defense. This tiresome perspective on Constitutional freedoms proliferating through the rarified air of hoopster […]
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