As the crafty phrase “No press is bad press.” is being widely regurgitated again thanks to the cyclical trendy rules of fad dictated by the subconscious of the impressionable generations, strategy has been effectively selected out by the presence of social media. Brand names and products, historically subject to the whim and scrutiny of consumers and the effectiveness of advertising campaigns, have been liberated from the hierarchy of marketing agencies with the prevalence of instant gratification, shortened attention spans, and the diminishing influences of morality, as the information age has blasted the doors open on a laissez-faire free for all of flood of content in reaching every individual on the planet at some point.
It all boils down to Tom Brady. How someone can be so inconsequential dissecting the near future, yet nearly perpetually relevant and the perfect eloquent fit for the 15-second news cycle and the idea of living the now, the ceaseless subliminal messages have placed the mastery of the championship formula quarterback on a cosmic pedestal rivaling Michael Jordan. Putting the bizarre reality into understandable context, as Jordan transcended the hardline news of the late 1980’s and the entire 90’s, network nightly news anchors would refrain from name dropping the Air-apparent high flying brand as a segue between stories. At this juncture the indoctrinated audience would fill in the blanks from the couch. Dan Rather, “Kuwait… Saddam… Kurds.” At home viewers, “Jordan!” Rather, “Clinton… Mena… Monica Lewinsky.” Viewers, “Air Jordan!” The resounding unison of fans and consumerism is still evident thirty years later reverberating throughout neighborhoods and cul-de-sacs.
A pair of prominent soccer players opted to spurn sponsors, or maybe not, as both global icons either defiantly flamed Coca-Cola and Heineken during post-match press conferences, or were involved in some elaborate ponzi-blockchain scheme to pad the coffers of their illustrious personal bank vault coffers. Somehow, Tom Brady may be involved in facilitating the possible marketing caper.
Futbol megastars Christiano Ronaldo and Paul Pogba each haughtily moved the complimentary beverages away from their persons along with associated disapproving facial gestures at separate media sessions previewing the 2021 European championships, prompting a social media viral tidal wave of responses, including a post from one Tom Brady, ingloriously chiming in and stoking his ego and bank account.
Ronaldo escalated his disdain for the prodigious soft drink in demanding a water instead, as the cameras rolled to the delight of digital entities, and a furtive fist pumping celebration by the board members of soccer’s governing body FIFA. It should be noted that both Coke and Heineken invested lucrative sums as primary partners of the ratings juggernaut of a futbol tournament, which is expected to garner record numbers of viewers and revenues in the wake of the Covid-19 disruption of the 2020 season.
In the aftermath of the moderately amusing tycoon tantrums, obscure Reddit financial boards left over from the miraculous run on the Gamestop stock processed a frenzied blast of real-time analytics, and Coca-Cola shares coincidentally dropped by a fraction of a percentage. At the time that this editorial was published, the monumental snub may have contributed slightly to the price of the investment descending to a one month low of $53.77. In the spirit of consolation, Ronaldo is formidably upholding role as an international ambassador for Fortune 500 companies, as well as existing as a public figure, and the associated volatility before the bottom line is ultimately reached for the producer of the globe’s most popular caffeinated soda. The power of celebrity holds no bounds and morality not congruent, as in the brutal indiscretions of Bill Cosby have failed to slow the sales of Jello Pudding Pops.
While the topography has shifted dramatically since Jordan’s reign in dominating popular culture and the advertising realm with the effortless silkiness of his patented aerial maneuvers, the current generation of internet and streaming personalities would go something like this. “Trump… Putin… Cancel Culture.” And the contemporary audience would parrot. “Tom Brady!”
Other than the pathological repetitive fatigue of being unable to escape the Brady brand, his social media posts are worth their weight in gold, and whether or not it is justifiable that a sports figurehead undeniably blessed with the ideal set of attributes for the celebrity construct and gifted unparalleled luck in virtually going unscathed through the daunting rigors and NFL seasons and scandals, the numbers don’t lie.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback gave Ronaldo digital props for the egregiously blatant actions with the devices rolling. Brady’s tweet was strategically concise. “It’s almost like the veterans know what they’re doing…. @Cristiano @TB12sports”
While the ingredients of a brewing controversy were all in place with the Portuguese soccer legend, himself as daunting as a corporation, snarkily shaming Coke, French footballer Pogba, who is Muslim, deliberately slid a bottle of Heineken out of his shadow in protest, and along with Brady’s commercialized insolence, the reality of economics and magnitude of fame present, just does not make sense, other than a trio of athletes flexing their vast wealth and star power in orchestrating a not so elaborate ruse.
If “Brady” fills the instantaneous void between commercials or thoughts on the North American continent, while burning an imprint onto the collective cerebral cortex killing intelligence, and replaces the tobacco industry cry of “smoke” in the decades preceding the Jordan empire, “Ronaldo” certainly serves a similar function in Europe and South America. The resulting glutinous sludge of discarded braincells, hopes and dreams massacred by the overkill of related content threatens to at least morph the state of mental health into the dire straights of perpetual surrender and reverse natural selection, which a faction of UN sub-committees officially recognizes as a microcosm of “climate crises”. Unfortunately, the prowess of sports deities altering the framework of the planet, including the shocking bandwidth of megavolts of energy consumed through online engagement with devices just to follow Brady’s latest quip, or a cat playing the piano, is lost on the entity of fandom.
At the end of the day, the staged mini-controversies of the sporting world intertwined with reticulated product presentation simply transfixes fans in temporarily ceasing higher mental functions, while beaming information in the mind with laser speed and efficiency. While the rinse and repeat cycle is a specified compartment of the free market, the next greatest innovation surrounds a device that can assist society in ridding itself with this self-inflicted and disturbing Tom Brady in conjuring at least a useful amount of autonomy to the worshippers of the professional sports church congregation.
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