Office apps just became fun thanks to a new character in town.
As the unified front of global sports fans orchestrated a prayer for professional golf to avoid the impending cancellation, the pious gesture of globalization registered a 5.1 on the UN Richter scale assessing potential threats to the agnostic lobby of oligarchs. Somewhere within the vast tapestry and remnants brusquely strewn across the geopolitical borders encompassing the borders of the Iron Curtain, George Soros accepted an emergency call on a retro red rotary dial telephone, and the exchange was as terse and frenetic as a coffee date between truth in media meeting one-sided agenda. Within the blink of an eye inception event presenting life to the universe for the first time, the conversation with the architect of the Velvet revolution was swiftly terminated and the rendezvous between conflicting ideals ended quickly, as the outcome to those forwarding a nefarious agenda proved bleak.
To the dismay of the general sports lobby, hope was extinguished with the cancellation of the next three PGA tour events, leaving the cupboard completely bare for television ready live sporting events, as the chasm of nothingness blasted from the void left by March Madness succumbing to the hysteria of the Coronavirus is only beginning. However, the fortitude and lateral thinking of the independent sports fans, has bureaucrats reeling as to a challenging environment ahead when news of the epidemic dissipates into the ether beneath the importance and priority hierarchy ranking reality and real life as the tenets for sustainable content within the eternally volatile news cycle. What digital empire or technical consortium ascends to the height of legends in providing virtual reality stopgap measures for NBA and college basketball in satisfying the quenches of the masses proves as the true measure of adaptability and survival instincts during a tedious period of humanity that could rewrite the history books. Utah Jazz center Rudy Gobert and Coronavirus suffer just had to be “that” guy, as he reprehensibly mocked the sanitary protocol and the legions of the elderly population at high risk in the wake of the disease’s spread across the globe.
Are these juvenile behaving millionaires beginning to wear thin on society?
Gobert, a French nationalist getting paid the big bucks to shut up and play, eventually apologized for the disturbingly bizarre incident and donated $750 thousand to local arena workers left unemployed until the NBA maintains normal operating parameters. It shouldn’t take a despicable act in forcing a professional athlete to donate to a charitable need, but in the contemporary world of shaming and obsession with one’s personal reputation, the kind gesture cannot be entirely discounted as an empty excuse for a heartfelt apology. There is no news out of Hollywood if television host Stephen Colbert endorses the retribution of the Utah Jazz player. The aforementioned Gobert should receive a healthy suspension for his appalling behavior once the season commences.
For those lurking outside the confines of televised athletics, salvation and liberation from cabin fever can both be achieved through a belief in a terrestrial higher power, that will not set off a series of alarms at the UN intelligensia gathering center, the oxymoron thoroughly comical and representative of the lowest common denominator. All hail the Goose, or in the case of internet protocol, all hail Desktop Goose.
Desktop Goose rules the digital roost with irksome antics.
With the March madness reduced to the intolerable realm of virtual reality, and the competition of the remainder of the NBA season will remain confined within the gaming world between individual players jousting with joysticks, where perpetual optimism mathematics exist as the universal language bridging three continents, beer remains in excessive supply. Even major league baseball officials are penciling in late June as the start of the 2020 season, and the Master’s golf tournament will not coincide with the blooming Azaleas.
As St. Patrick’s Day celebrations have succumbed to the political correct and self-preservation tactics of social distancing, limited edition 20 ounce bottles of Bud Light are predicted to last throughout the Summer, even in with the existence of heavy binge drinkers attempting to shorten the time continuum and end the current bout of hysteria. With sports channels threating to simulate games postponed through videogame systems, the next 14 calendar days are sure to test the resolve of any reasonable sports fan and consumer. What’s left for the inquiring mind is the insolent digital goose wrecking havoc on the Windows platform desktop (and in some cases Linux and Mac), in a precocious and imaginative fashion temporarily erasing the drama-laden ebb and flow of a society facing an uncertain future, an election year, and the expurgate tidings of an overzealous media fueling divisiveness and politicizing a viral epidemic. The prankster goose is guaranteed to cause a certain level of disorder and malaise while tracking mud all over the screen, stealing the mouse and dragging notepad files to various destinations.
While the pugnacious electronic goose is incapable of vaporizing the 45-year-old toilet paper hoarder angrily engaging grocery store clerks during the frenzied and panic rush on crucial supplies, if the three cart caravan of an order is not enough to elicit thoughts of arcane torture inflicted upon the individual, the verbal tirade describing a 6-hour wait for bathroom tissue at Costco will certainly push reasonable individuals to the brink. In these difficult and nails and chalkboard times of asinine brilliance performed in public, an electronic waterfowl providing at least a live and viable means of escape from fellow humans behaving unsavory, should be embraced.
As the grade-b science fiction movie of an epidemic raises the drama level to at least a CNN level of chaos, laughter, quirkiness and hilarity are simple and easy antidotes to hack away at harmful stress levels. Desktop Goose may not encourage endorphins on the level of a classic comedy, or a patriotic uplifting historical film, but the concept of a phenomenon or icon so detached from reality and provides an avenue for escape is well worth the price of a few hearty chuckles with a series of minor interruptions that may cause a temporary control of the mouse. The comradery associated with the foul waterfowl, and the shared interactions through conversation or online dialogue is the priceless commodity that the Coronavirus has temporarily ripped away from humanity. The relentless flow of virus-related gloom and doom content relayed through the press is not helping matters, as is the decision by certain states to close restaurants and bars for at least two weeks. For the first time in modern history, St. Patrick’s Day is dead, but the future is bright thanks to an electronic collection of feathers and a beak.
Written by an 18-year-old software guru Sam Chiet, the defiant software goose busted out of the barnyard in January and into viral territory with countless downloads around the planet. As the world is in desperate need of something to laugh and cheer about, why not combine imagination and togetherness in exploring an outlandish and weird creation that is charmingly unpredictable. A state of existence about as far from the front lines of a lingering public health emergency that one can manage.
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