With speculation as dense as the legacy of a Mussolini statue casting a shadow in the Italian Alps, the Winter Olympic experiment of adding free base rap to the competition docket was the talk of the hallways of in athlete dormitories outside of Milan.
With multiple sightings of iconic rappers reported within the walls of the Olympic village hosting youthful exuberance and carnal notions, the medal ceremonies spanning the mountains, the rinks and the tubular luge course took on a life their the own which did not resonate with viewers. While it has been nearly five decades since the Miracle on Ice forever settling the Cold War once and for all, the warped state of the world of sports is nearly unrecognizable as political correctness, social media and the musings of Snoop have forced a society of free thinking narcissists and anarchists more concerned about their personal brand than patriotism and representing the US with pride and grace.
While the viral headline emanating from Italy revolved around the condom scandal in the Olympic village, where a run on prophylactics made Black Friday crazed shopper mobs assaulting the capacity limit of storefronts look like a Saturday in the park by comparison, the egregious behavior of certain American athletes on the medal stands deviated into the land of the intolerable. On a rubber note, according to sources, the supply of 10,000 condoms budgeted for competitors was exhausted in just three days and no bedroom medals were awarded to commemorate free love or love free.
As the aforementioned industry of social media and the propagation of personal brands continued to convolute the essence and spirit of competition, the formula for submission to the radicalization has come full circle as athletes too young to remember the Cold War and too inane to practice accountability have contributed to the demise of the reputation of team USA. The tattered remnants of allegiance to any sort of red white and blue flag was once again blase and worthy of criticism and ostracization by peers among the younger generations.
American athletes are not entirely to blame for their despicable behavior in hijacking the medal ceremonies to cross the membrane sporting competition into the arena of politics, the sophomoric behavior on the international stage has purists even calling for a Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding intervention. At least during that era which now seems as alien and ancient, honor was the priority, even in the presence of an inanimate lead pipe of figure skating destruction and cultural lore.
The Winter games of the past traded gold, silver and bronze instead of launching missiles, as the ongoing conflict between Russia and the United States was a polarizing force dictating global politics. The events in history became a war for prestige. During the timeframe of ideological clarity in the absence of gender bending confusion, at least from a seven continent perspective, a functioning version of the International Olympic committee (IOC) existed at least suitably effective in governance before morphing into an organization with a voracious appetite for funneling lucrative sums of money and bankrupting cities. Within this time period of unilateral introspection, the games represented integrity and provided a brief and crucial break from the incessant threat of nuclear holocaust. Though defeat was eminent for the USSR tactically in the aftermath of the improbable Miracle on Ice, the KGB ran out of propaganda as the inevitable finally caught up to Moscow. However, the Russians were still the perfect actors for the role of playing the villain in generating television ratings along with the satellite states of Eastern Europe under the shadow of the Iron curtain manufacturing steroid-infused gods and goddesses trading personality and relatability for perfection and winning at all costs.
Fast forward 30 years and it is all about the worship of instant gratification and regularly criticizing politicians, a recipe that requires heavy doses of obliviousness that result in naivety. As rampant entitlement and the access to multiple platforms breeds divisiveness, and rappers act as ragged and provocative historians, there was very little to salvage from 2026 games.
Fortunately, the stunning run to winning gold by the US men’s hockey team defeating Canada 2-1 in thrilling overtime match negated much of the malfeasance and delusion of primadonna athletes parading throughout the causeways of the competitor dormitories and apparently liberally practicing an abundance of safe sex. Word is not out yet who the winner of the free base rap contest was but odds are that the lyrics involve describing the condom feeding frenzy.