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“Bad Boy” Swan Meets His Demise

January 6, 2019 By Conn Williamson

While the British are known for their globally for their snarky wit, a reputation that led to the quip, “The sun never sets in the British Empire, because God doesn’t trust the bastards,” there was nothing subtle about the womanizing swan with an attitude.

Much to the dismay of local residents and legions of tourists, avian alpha male “Angry Bob” passed away this week in Southwest England, reports the BBC, the champion specimen even earning himself a memorial service held near a watershed on a dreary January day. There are no indications in the immediate aftermath of the swan’s death, as to any backlash in regards to climate change as the culprit or the interjection of the carbon footprint narrative into the public dialogue.

Apparently, “Angry Bob”, or a “Cob” in naturalists terms, was quite a hit with the ladies and enjoyed an illustrious singles life in coercing multiple partners through pure brute savagery requiring a perpetual attitude adjustment. Many of the freshman congress politicians are adopting the bird’s promiscuous disposition, as ammunition for further attacks on the Trump presidency and the Clinton legacy with the slogan, “He pecks before he asks.”

As swans and geese are known for their volatile temperament and bold behavior even around humans, Bob and a group of resident swans, were beloved by visitors to the fertile and bountiful Hestercombe gardens, which host an array of exotic plant species in a botanical environment.

Read the BBC story here.

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