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50 Shades Of Grey- Alaska Airlines Bans Passenger For Prompting Service

January 7, 2018 By Conn Williamson

As the witch trials of sexual harassment allegations are spreading between the coasts like a wildfire of ultraviolet lemmings threatening to swarm the very basis of social mores, the concept of decency now resides within the frictionless field of a rogue superconductor, as the boundaries and definition seem to change with a case by case basis.

In the latest overcorrection to the guilt and shame market, a male passenger on a domestic flight was probably the last individual in Western society to prompt service by tapping a flight attendant on the shoulder. At the epicenter of these interesting times, Fox News summarizes the sorted narrative of man who simply wanted to enjoy a libation at cruising altitude and ended up being banned for life by Alaska Airlines. The once proud carrier, based in Seattle, Washington, once again makes the headlines in dubious fashion and in this case bad press is bad press.

In a true iteration of a “he taps, she says” battle royale, one corner features a frustrated passenger tapping the shoulder of a flight attendant in an attempt to gain her attention, while in the other corner lurks the beleaguered airline employee, who claims that the man sexually harassed her. Add into the mix authorities at the airport in San Diego, who took statements and made no arrests. Make sure to order pay per view (also available on Hulu) and have popcorn on hand, as the pending legal action could reach a circus level of publicity and in harrowing fashion, possibly establish precedent. “Let’s get ready to rummmmmmmble!” (Cue the ring girl!… (Uh wait. Doesn’t that objectify women?) (I got it. Cue Caitlyn Jenner and his sexy calves!) “Ding! Ding!” The loser will actually be tossed out of the 737 flying courtroom/aircraft/wrestling ring.

Unfortunately, society is at a literal turning point, as the crossroads to a perpetual grey and muted fog of dystopia, threatens to engulf every human instinct, both good and bad, in a sea of ambiguity teeming with a propensity towards reeducation. Of course, within the angry waters of the tidal zone, the ugly predator of double standard, continues to grow fat as the hapless prey simply wallow in the vapid shallows of surrender and coercion. (If it were up to certain woman, all male air travelers would be required to wear the following restraint ensemble. 

So the next time drinks are needed at cruising altitude and the cabin crew is not responding to the call button or a polite verbal request cannot be heard over the extemporaneous noise, cease the urge to tap, and simply cause a minor disturbance by attempting to yell the drink order over the roar generated by the jet engines. While illogical, at least it is not sexual harassment. Well, not yet anyway.

Read at the Fox News story.


 

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