Ted Turner probably did not envision that his purchased brainchild of a fledgling media nightmare, would ever reach a such a threshold of epic stagnation that an entire men’s furnishings luxury storefront of mustache wax would prove ineffectual in keeping the ends of his legendary dirt hedgehog erect with an eloquent prominence of entitlement. While the maligned and controversial corporate entity of CNN, which pawns itself off as a news network, flirts with the possibility of widespread layoffs because of dismal ratings, Turner is unable to furrow his brow towards partner in crime Jane Fonda. The potent combination of botox and the fundamental molecular structure of mustache foundation cream prevents the inception of even a subtle distraught expression, and threatens to destroy the fortunes of a power couple who have bestowed society with so much hate.
After months of relentlessly force feeding the American audience scripted vitriol and emotional content featuring a dearth of evidence, the numbers clearly represent that a festering culture of distrust percolating throughout the network hierarchy has reached the attention of the public, reports Fox News, and the view from the outside is just plain ugly.
With the prevalence and controversy of social media as a source for information overload and former television media personalities launching personal app and web news platforms, television is suffering similar fate to radio and the newspapers in losing viewers to more intriguing and convenient options. In the case of CNN, the explosive collision between innovation and audience frustration, could be effectively graphed by an X-Y axis in ultimately depicting the obvious fate of arrogant and oblivious individuals prompting a preventable and laughable example of self-destruction. The television news industry, which once had a galaxy wide expansive buffer zone in continuously evolving and profiting, now has a razor thin margin for error.
Things are apparently so bad at the cable television “news” syndicate that the Hallmark Channel, ironically stocked with Fonda b-grade movie content, is earning better weekday prime time ratings, a reality which has spurred Turner into maniacal brainstorm sessions and fever dreams of devising ways to send his wife to the militant shadowy Muslim gang war suburbs of Colombo in a fake reality show concept. Hanoi Jane has responded to reports that CNN is even being lapped by TLC in the vaunted 8pm-11pm numbers, and threatened to rekindle her aerobic workout publication series and scheduled a subsequent book tour originating in Portland, Oregon.
As Wolf Blitzer faces the cruel fate of forever being confused with the pageantry of Christmas and one of Santa’s lesser known reindeer, the hardcore lesson of karma descends upon the misnamed news room and the entire operations center of a network built in pursuing sensationalism rather than fact. With the nefarious presence of social media acting as sounding boards for fake news and hyperbole, there has never been a time in history that Americans crave the truth more than they do now. This concept may be boring to a hot shot reporter set on chasing a juicy lie in forwarding an agenda, but ethics always win out in the endurance marathon set by time and the existence of paper trails and evidence.
Fads always yield to obscurity, and the finely crafted grandfather clock of the universe is steadily counting the moments leading up to an eternal midnight for CNN.
Read the Fox News story here.
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