In a time and on a world dominated by pronounced hedonism represented by the inverse function of the younger generations making the boldest statement, evolution has temporarily been inverted. Not even the threats of Pepsi gradually assuming control of the public library system in a dark séance of pending crony Capitalism and the jittery cold sweat of manufactured silence can rescue society from itself, and the invasion of the extremes.
As the “super size it!” culture marinates with the suffocating technocratic nuances of incessant sentient positive reinforcement, it no longer pays to be earnest and hard working, while motivation takes the back perch of a self-driving vehicle to the continuous maintenance required in growing personal electronic ego stoking brought to the masses by the smartphone. Who needs classic competition, when digital community peer pressure reaches the threshold of gentle hazing? Why sweat blood and tears, when there is an easier way that requires zero risk of failure or ridicule?
For the answers to humanity’s most perplexing and ancient mystery and riddles, just ask the thoughts and memories of a colossal slice of pizza, before scavengers transformed the epic pie into base elements.
With amateur sports flatlining in the remaining months of the 2020 botched experiment of life, and the pros not making fandom a pleasant escape from reality, especially with the NBA spearheading an aggressive social justice warrior marketing campaign with player names on the back of jerseys being replaced by peace movement lexicon such as “Equality”, “Free Feather”, and “Imagine”, traditional audiences face a meager selection of viewing options to satisfy the lust for competition. At least pro basketball features all the high flying defensively challenged action of celebrating freakish athleticism and mad skills that invigorate a loyal fanbase. In scraping the primordial sludge from the depths of the Marianna trench, the eating contest titans of the world are making their push in separating personal brands from the teeming billions clogging social media platforms.
Is this LeBron James or World B. Free bringing politics into basketball?
The slice of pizza in question exceeded 6 feet in length before it was engulfed, and totaled 12 feet in area, not to mention the heavy volumes of cardiac combination toppings and zesty sauce, during the intense buildup leading to a gluttonous and raunchy feast by a collection of global eating masters. Apparently, 40 plus hot dogs consumed in record time is passe, as the threshold of decency and moderation is constantly being reimagined and challenged by the daredevil goading from YouTube, and the Chinese government’s new favorite surveillance tool in imploding the West from within, the incorrigible TikTok. The pizza feeding frenzy making a veritable mockery of Amazon Piranhas tearing an unfortunate Capybara to shreds is courtesy of the alliterative and appropriately named YouTube user, MrBeast.
As Major league baseball has struggled to captivate viewers due to the cavernous and empty stadiums of selfie cardboard cutouts and creepy teddy bears diminishing any sort of audience, the reality of a 60 game season is underwhelming. Professional golf has been nothing short of brilliant and eloquent in a display of grace and restraint showcasing a high level of competition and excellence, however the raucous environment of high energy pageantry is lacking, which spells a rocky immediate future for a sport that relies on the average attention span surpassing that of a sand flea.
While values in life have undergone a paradigm shift, a gravitation fueled by the onset of social network, instant gratification, and lack of critical thinking skills, the deterioration of competitive sports to an unrecognizable fringe circus of participation trophy bodily function showcases, is just the tip of the iceberg towards a world populated by extroverts. The absence of a normal college football season providing the funding for athletic departments, has organization members scrambling to save the future of non-revenue generating sports. With the major sporting leagues becoming unrelatable to the homebodies and gamers of pure convenience and comfort, stuffing one’s face full of food is a hell of a lot easier than training rigorously under the hot sun. The unsettling ramifications of progressive laziness and a lust for smartphones and entertainment consoles replacing true competition, will have far-reaching affects across the entire human condition.
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