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He Survives In The Wild With A Plastic Bag

July 12, 2018 By Conn Williamson

Oh, YouTube, your source code responsible for selecting user content rivals the predicative brilliance of Carnac the Magnificent, but the treasure hunt reality of the environment is still a game changer.

In executing a search for the Carly Simon 1970’s hit, “Your’re So Vain,” this unexpected platinum nugget mysteriously appeared in the “Up next” playlist on the right side of the screen. At least the ideological direction orientation follows the basis of personal preferences.

One of the eternal questions of the universe in finally answered.

Instead of an H.G. Wells jewel encrusted hydraulic pristine mechanism providing a transport to the height of the 1970’s in witnessing Ms. Simon in all her effulgent polyester glamour, the attention shifted to the possibility of learning how to survive in the wondrous serenity of the forest with only a sandwich bag and a smidgen of hope. At least in the depth of the woods, one is fortunately beyond the range of the shrieking and grating broadcast frequency of Maxine Waters, Chuck Schumer, or the panel of “The View”. Actually, if all attempts at securing basic means of survival fail, then the trio of contemporary Sirens, could probably suffice as alternative to assisted suicide, where the mind is ceremoniously wiped clean and the body remains living, especially in the waning moments before a Grizzly attack.

YouTube user, The King of Random, (The username is an egregious attempt at self-promotion), shares that temporary survival in the outdoors from late Spring to early Fall, is quite possible with simply a sandwich bag, some liquid, and the presence of the sun. Without completely spoiling the fun, the entertaining tutorial highlights common sense tactics and patience in beating the odds and gaining peace of mind (or unleashing the raw power of Helios on ants), until the rescue crew arrives.

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