“Swish!” The sweet sound of a basketball breaching the net with pure backspin precision and melodic grace, may soon endure the seamless transition from the safe and cozy confines of a backyard staple, to the hell fires of extinction, prompted by the current industry of societal hypocrisy being processed daily on the assembly line of subversive indoctrination.
The latest potential victim in the battle between the war of ideas and the prevalence of overeducated pseudo-intellectuals dominating the culture of higher education, is the fun and simple concept of shooting a ball. While pundits are not yet calling for a change in lexicon when referring to one of the most natural and basic actions used describing the eloquence that resounds throughout the sporting world, Fox Sports News reports that officials at a New York university have changed the name of the school’s sports mascot, in the aftermath of the Las Vegas tragedy.
Allegedly, leaders at Marist College thought that the traditional handle of “Shooter”, was offensive and agreed to officially assign the name of “Frankie”, in reverence to FDR, to represent the teams. Fans of the college, which has ironically made two appearances in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, should find solace in the reality that “Shooter”, the once proud and boisterous representation of fandom for the Red Foxes, has been ingloriously usurped by the nickname of an iconic democrat.
As the science of connotations proves inexact and at times quite messy and bizarre, what ugly, twisted and confusing message does this send to sports participants and enthusiasts around the nation? How does the term “shooter” suddenly insinuate the worst acts of a madman, content on murdering in cold blood, when for centuries it has been used to describe a simple act or level of excellence? The Marist administration obviously failed to engage in a productive thought experiment session before opening another Pandora’s Box of ridiculous proportions and completely perverting a civil and socially acceptable label. (or maybe competitive sports are gradually being pared down as certain personality types cannot grasp the duality of the winner/loser concept) It is just a matter of time before a coach or player at a high school basketball, hockey, or water polo game is escorted by security from the premises for yelling, “Shoot it!” Will the legendary voice of the NBA, Marv Albert, complete with his nano-technology supported rug, as well as multiple off camera exploits, balks due to an epic mental aversion worthy of a Gary Busey night club intrepid monologue fueled by pity and valium, during the Finals when attempting to describe the brilliance of Stephan Curry’s technique and skilled prowess? Hell, “shooter” has been the eternal compliment for the marksmen and markswomen of the hardwood. Certainly, the residents of Indiana, will go on a full scale riot if the nickname of their beloved soft spoken king and hero of the state championship team from deep in the heart of the rural shadows of the state is deemed politically incorrect. In this day and age of instant gratification, one is simply not allowed to transform an ancient and acceptable noun and transform it into something that serves an agenda.
Once the realists of the group think flavor of the month club realized that firearms are not going to magically disappear in the wake of Las Vegas and a majority of gun control voters are not simply going to materialize, this prime example of the reckless and damaging recourse reared its ugly head. As the labs of engineering and science on college campuses produce a certain level of ground breaking research and innovative technology, the evil and soulless individuals at the height of the various countercultural movements, also choose to conduct devious and grand social experiments through the causeways, quads and dormitories of student life, in forming the perfect army of mindless locusts, in stripping culture down to the bare bone. These blind and useless attacks on simple language need to cease, hence the masses are pushed into a paroxysm of productive violence and tear down the walls separating the snowflakes from the reality of life.
The future does not look so bright, as fifty years from now when a kid asks mom or dad to shoot baskets in the backyard, blank stares ensue, followed by an intervention with heavy behavior altering drugs and possibly a lobotomy. The only “swish” sound comes from the rotors of an Amazon drone facilitating all of the fun, and returning to headquarters. We can only dream.
Read the Fox Sports story here.