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According To A Gaggle of Eggheads Humanity Is Doomed

January 24, 2020 By Conn Williamson

This is not the traditional wizened, soothing, and tolerant Grandfather clock of the living room.

With absolutely no offense to the ageless choreography and aerodynamics of migrating geese spelling out wispy “v’s” in the lower level jetways, the sky is indeed falling, or at least precariously teetering on jagged cleft. Like clockwork, a group of undeserving and sanctimonious scientists are babbling about the earth’s demise with an insufferable tone that rivals the aesthetics and dissonance of nails on a chalkboard.

The self-proclaimed apocalyptic academics superseding the traditional concept of a deity, are predicting that the earth is less than 100 seconds away from annihilation as the official Doomsday clock of delusional pretention and hysteria closes in on the finality of midnight. It’s bad enough that the individuals composing the society of misinformation, believe in their superiority over than the mean of the bell curve, but these are atomic researchers who are stepping way out of their lanes and areas of expertise to preach that humanity is misbehaving.

The instinctive behavior patterns displayed by “Goosey” are more trustworthy and reliable than the constant pandering of alarmists.

Populated by controversial topics including climate change, nuclear holocaust, and digital warfare, the pretentious clock of obliteration maintained by the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists (BAS) is a screaming and kicking attention grabber of hysteria that triggers celebrities such as John Cusack to perform insufferable and nonsensical rants.

WARNING:  May cause temporary blindness and the urge to ring a partisan neck or two…

Politics is a more effective truth serum than sodium pentanol or tequila.
Over the last three years, and ironically shadowing the implementation of the Trump administration, the clock has been set at 2 minutes and 30 thirty seconds and wound to 2 minutes last year to echo the lucrative paranoia surrounding the Green movement. Allegedly, members of the organization just in the nick of time changed the lexicon for 2020 and moved the hands marking the end of existence up to the 100 second landmark to emphasize a propensity towards mental illness and the onset of cognitive dissonance.

Of course, the mainstream media is eating the story up at moment’s notice with the fervor of an intoxicated college kid feasting on a bag of Pirate’s Booty while blasting Al Bowlly’s “Midnight and the stars and you” on repeat, in the aftermath of the dorm fire alarm being pulled for the third time on an early Tuesday morning during finals week. While book smart, but not necessarily bursting with common sense, the group of Noble Laureates who decide the proportion of panic that is instigated by the imperious timepiece transform into hollow and callous sound bytes in the company of the press. The shaming and strident call to action flames the already charged environment of reckless overcompensating brand of activism to a radical magnitude that obscures the fundamental components of decency and feasibility.

Fittingly, former California demagogue Jerry Brown is the dichotomy of an esteemed member of the organization’s panel, which tells every reasonable person all there needs to know about the fleeting credibility of shrieking and relentless pontification of intellectual bullies. Brown offered this shimmering tapestry of intrigue and riveting remarkable eloquence capturing the essence of foreign diplomacy and global stewardship.

“Dangerous rivalry and hostility among the superpowers increases the likelihood of nuclear blunder. Climate change just compounds the crisis. If there’s ever a time to wake up, it’s now.”

The literal victims to the propaganda, ensconced within the definition of culture which is personified by the aforementioned term insinuating unyielding servitude, are the younger generations. With the prevalence of action verbs gratuitously oversimplifying complex and ingrained disciplines of science, the extremists marginalize the efforts of legitimate researchers, while proliferating emotionally charged assumptions that lack merit and incite the dangerous phenomenon of groupthink. The pockets of sensible adults left in the world, silenced by the angry tempest of visceral rhetoric are left with a precarious launch window to facilitate effective damage control, as the looming cultural archetypes and metaphors as the Doomsday clock, and the carbon footprint calculator actually expend more energy than functioning as effective tools and problem solvers. In other words, the collective net energy consumed by counterproductive and wayward mechanisms of unsubstantiated hope cause, more harm than good.

Subtlety and critical nuance always lose out to the brash and worn talking points of verbal ammunition used in forwarding an agenda. The instigators of change could care less if it is endothermic or exothermic, as long the inherent bias marinates within the appropriate discourse influencing the jagged shackles of control. That obscure, yet important minus haphazardly changed to a plus and thus fitting the narrative of a new flavor of the month climate ideology, is of no consequence or concern to those transfixed on societal engineering, while perverting the founding principles of scientific integrity. As long as the flow of cash is steady and the population is traumatized, all is well within the radical element. Global cooling? Global warming? How does Climate change sound?

The devious nature of renegade chronology threatens the entire temporal component of known existence.

Two can play at this game. Introducing the Environmental Movement Sani-Meter.

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