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Liberty Park Press Weekly Digest- Welcome To Parity

October 12, 2020 By Kennedy Guse

The Crazed Gridiron Affair

It took 25 years of experimentation, but there is finally parity throughout college football. As brand name bluebloods sputter, the Covid-19 pandemic is to blame for creating logistical havoc and eliminating strategic dominance. Teams that usually annihilate middling opponents, are losing on a weekly and exciting basis, and the lack of a true home field advantage is another factor. Most of all, the wildly inconsistent performances both individual and team from week to week are stunning. Just ask Mississippi State head coach Mike Leach how fast things change from being a bungee jump hero, to a can of human Spam.

Aside from a mishandled snap and clock kill that should have been ruled a clock kill, and a water bottle spraying taunting incident on the sidelined deemed “gatorgate”, the usual underdogs feasted. Of the notable programs struggling in the early season, LSU, Texas, Florida, have already lost a combined five games, and stalwart Alabama is not blowing teams out on a regular basis. What does this mean for the rest of the season, any decent team has a shot at the championship, and there are no sure bets the rest of the way.

Toppling Sensibility

Violent misfits in Portland, Oregon lovingly referred to as “protestors” by the mainstream press, toppled a Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt statue over the weekend. If that’s not enough, the dangerous posse engaged in a list of destructive activities in what local police described as a “riot” (The AP manual of style now officially discourages use of the term). The recipe for domestic terrorism included, two shots fired into a restaurant, windows at multiple businesses smashed, and an attempt crazed individuals to burn down the Oregon Historical Society building. “But their actions are misunderstood, and without challenging law and order, change will never be possible,” says the suburban block captain. If this doesn’t get your blood boiling, it’s time to visualize public employees being forced to engage in tax-payer funded sensitivity training to foster the rage.

The inaction and incompetence of Portland Mayor and anti-cop Ted Wheeler is to blame in allowing savage miscreants taking over the downtown is unfortunately a sign of the times. Thankfully, Wheeler’s term ends this year, however, his soccer mom and progressive opponent Sarah Iannarone was seen around town last week donning a festive dress devoted to devil worshipping the 20th century tyrants in a knitted patchwork of silhouettes featuring Mao, Castro, Stalin and Guevara, as well as others bordered by loud and clean colors.

But hey, what is fashion next to hundreds of millions of people brutally murdered for the crappy existence under murderous regimes of another hundreds of millions? Is there a market for Ted Bundy or Atilla the Hun apparel amongst leftists on the edge? Human skull accessories would have been a nice touch for the mayoral candidate. And psychologists argue that liberalism is not an official mental disease. Getting back to the coddled Bolsheviks playing revolutionaries with house money, the unresolved student loans from a degree in Cultural Dynamics of Modern Bi-Pedal Tribes does not justify civil unrest, and criminal behavior.

The Juice Is On The Loose

President Trump is apparently alive and well, at least well enough to tweet about a triumphant return to the campaign trail, and hurl other strategic insults and exhausting the human moderation team at the social network headquarters.  After the debacle of the first debate, supporters are urging the Commander in Chief to at least engage in one more debate with Biden, regardless of the format or circumstances. As always, the tedious sitrep on undecided voters calls for coordinated discretionary measures. Good thing that the analog technology of the White H0use batphones, at least keep some things private.

Digital Accountability For Once

Speaking of the social media companies, under immense pressure from concerned citizens, and humanitarians, Facebook finally decided to remove all groups and content devoted to Holocaust denial. CEO Mark Zuckerberg finally got something right, and maybe even realizes at this point that his popular and controversial platform is not and will never be a true forum for free speech. You can’t mix business and Constitutionality. On a side not, user engagement with known false information trolls and imposters has gone through the roof since 2016. Not good news with the election right around the corner. With the hedonistic desire for fake journalism, the return to the days of Edward R. Murrow and a boring quest for truth and objectivism is 2035’s hot trending item.

Moms For Thunderdome

It’s bad enough that cretin Michael Bloomberg has poured millions of dollars into Everytown For Gun Safety in endorsing gun prohibitionists and anti-firearm legislation, but now an offshoot of the organization is demanding that the bail system be dissolved all for the sake of votes. Don Wos over at Ammoland.com, does an excellent and thorough job of presenting this disturbing and evil narrative, which if the moms have their wishes, will result in a hopeless and desolate future and the end to civilization, where shell hoop earrings forged from the decaying cities, are all the rave between mass sacrifices.

Thanks To NASA The Sky Is Literally Falling

One zany bi-product of the Covid-19 hysteria and shutdowns, has been the appearance of near earth object (NEO’s) within the news cycle. It seems like every week a headline or two emerges from the ether that an asteroid is barely missing earth by 250,000 miles. This week’s culprit may be worth following, as sky trackers across the globe are making educated guesses that the next close encounter, actually originated from our planet. The object appears to be the remnants of a booster rocket which powered a failed NASA moon probe mission from the early 1960’s. That, or we can all hail to our new extraterrestrial overlords, a topic that is currently viral on social media, and allegedly engaging all younger audiences.

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